Stayed
by Questic
Summary: It's Tamaki's last day at Ouran Academy, and big changes are coming...Haruhi's PoV. Events are concurrent with those of Stay, because every story has 2 sides, and this one has 3.
1. Chapter 1 - Through a Lover's Eyes

The characters and setting of this story are the intellectual properties of Bisco Hatori, not my own.

* * *

Haruhi hurried through the entrance way of the courtyard, trying to find Tamaki. It was his final day at Ouran Academy, and she knew that he was probably anxious. He wasn't admitting it, but she could tell that a fear had been building in him over the course of the last few days. She always knew his emotions better than he did. It's how she knew he cared for her so deeply before he was willing to admit it to himself.

"Hey," a familiar voice called. She stopped in her tracks, turning to see Kyoya leaning against a wall, looking sullen and pale, "do you have a minutes?"

"Sure, but only a minute," she replied. "I've got to find Tamaki."

"Good. He was suppose to meet me, and I really need to talk to him alone. He said he would be here, could you remind him that we are suppose to meet?"

"Yeah, I could do that."

"Thanks," he said, becoming quiet and sullen once more.

She hurried away, sparing one last glance back at him. Something felt off to her, but she had no time to worry about that now. Her love was somewhere in the school, needing comfort, even if he didn't want to talk about it. Where he was, though, was the big question. It was a big campus to hunt one person down on.

 _Think, where would I go if this was my last day?_

She would be with Tamaki, probably in the courtyard watching as the leaves of the trees blew gently in the wind. He would have sat patiently with her, holding her hand softly watching with her. The campus was still beautiful to him after all these years, which was miraculous to her. Someone with his stature normally overlooked the small things like that.

 _Overlook. Of course!_ He would be taking in as much of the area as he could. There were so many windows overlooking the campus for him to be able to take in everything all at once. It would be so like him to want to be at the top. After all, he was the king, and the school was his thrown.

Haruhi raced to the upper floor, wondering which way would have the best view for him to say goodbye from. Finally she spotted the back of a familiar blonde head, walking slowly down the corridor, not even looking out over the campus. He looked as though he was lost within his own head, thinking deeply in a way he never let anyone see except for her. She was thrilled to know that he trusted her enough to let her see him at his most vulnerable.

"Oh Tamaki-senpai," she said down the empty call, her words echoing off the walls, "where do you think you're going?"

He turned, smiling widely as he did. She loved his smile. It was somehow a combination of charming sweetness while still managing to convey an air of confidence. It was that very Suoh smile that had won over the hearts of a thousand girls, all of which that he could have been with that had the same social standing as himself. Yet he saw something in her that was worth more than anything those other girls money could have bought. When she asked once, he said that it was her eyes that made her stand out above the rest of the crowd.

"My sweet Haruhi, sweet and beautiful as ever," he replied, a tenderness in his voice that he reserved for their private moments together. She felt a warmth spread through her when he spoke to her like that. It was a comforting feeling that she hadn't felt since her mother was alive. While she would have moments where she missed her dearly, he would always be there the support her. Every time he visited her home, he would pay his respect to her late mother before he left. It made her feel less alone, even when there was no one there.

"Tamaki, if you don't hurry up you'll be late. Kyoya is waiting for you out front. This may be your last day as a student here, but it doesn't mean that you can't come back. You can always check on the Host Club to see how the twins are taking care of it. And of course, you can always come to visit me and," she ran a finger down his chest, enjoying the way his body would respond when she teased him, "keep me distracted from my studies."

"Why Haruhi, since when did you put your studies second to our little games we play?"

"Since your father promised that my education was safe as long as I keep you happy, and out of his hair," she joked, knowing that he would at least get a little chuckle at the thought of her using anyone for her advantage.

He kissed her forehead softly, making her shiver a little, "He can wait a little longer. I just want to take a stroll around the rest of the school for one last time."

Taking her hand, Tamaki began to stroll around the school. He did stop to look over the fountain where he showed his first completely selfless act with her by helping to fish her soggy belongings from the water. It had taken her by surprise that he had climbed right in with her, and then proceeded to defend her without really knowing her. That was the moment that she began to fall for him. She knew that his heart would always be kind no matter how conceded he may act, and she wanted that heart to belong completely and utterly to her.

He walked around, her matching his steps, comforted by the warmth of his hand. She didn't even care where they went as long as he was happy. They kept a steady place, pausing briefly to take a look here or a last glance there. This continued until they came to a complete stop. They were in front of his home away from home, a place where they had spent all of their free time when they were within the school.

Music Room 3 had signified such a large part of his youth. His grip became slightly tighter. He probably didn't even realize that he had squeezed a little tighter, but the subtle clue let her know that he was mildly upset. When she looked at him, she saw a sad longing in his eyes. She knew that if he would miss anything about being a student, it would be this room.

The Host Club was the physical manifestation of his happiness and creativity. He took so much pride in what he had created. It was a legacy that would continue long after he left, one that she planned to personally carry on herself if it came to it. She knew he would never ask her to stay, especially if it was out of a sense of duty, but she would never do it for that reason. No, she would carry it on because she knew the joy it had brought to everyone that experienced it, and she hoped that it would bring joy to future bored students who had too much time on their hands.

She was so grateful for the day she walked into that room. If it had not been for that search for quiet to study in, she may never have met Tamaki or any of the other members. It was either that or she would have met him in passing and thought he was one of the most conceded people in the world. Instead, she was introduced to a dream world unlike anything her imagination could have come up with.

It was Tamaki that helped give her a place to belong at Ouran Academy. She would have spent the whole time studying and staying to herself, yet he wouldn't have that. After she broke the vase, which had now become an event they would all bring up to embarrass her, they all took her in even after they knew that she was not a male. He was so adamant that she join them and never leave. It was him that made sure she had a place that she could belong.

"You will be able to come back," Haruhi said, trying her best to sound reassuring. "The Host Club will always be here for you. I'll always be here for you."

It must have made Tamaki feel a little better because he gave her hand a tight squeeze. He was clearly still uneasy about leaving, though she could see why. it was more than leaving the Club behind. He was scared to have to start anew. At Ouran, he knew where he belonged, which was always a comforting thought. Once he left these doors, it wouldn't be so easy. He would have to find a new niche and new friends. He would act confident, but this was mostly a show to hide the insecurity he really had.

"Tamaki, we really should be going," she said to him, tugging him a little. Talking to Kyoya would make him feel better. His best friend had a way of calming Tamaki in a way that she was almost jealous of. The way they acted sometimes made her question their entire relationship. It was like she was the third wheel, invading on their private moments. Thinking about it always had a way of making her laugh.

They exited the school together, hand in hand. She could see Kyoya from where they were, and he still seemed like something was wrong. Perhaps he was just as nervous about leaving school as Tamaki was, but that still didn't seem right. It worried her to not be able to read him. Something in her knew, just knew, that whatever was on Kyoya's mind wasn't good at all.

"He said he needed to talk to you alone, I don't ask questions when it comes to your relationship with him." She tried to make it sound casual to ease Tamaki, but she was pretty confident that she had failed.

Tamaki began walking towards his friend, tension clear in his stance. She waited patiently, watching his back and seeing Kyoya's face. From where she was, it was clear that he had said something to Tamaki that shocked him. It hadn't seemed possible that he could grow more tense, but he succeeded. Kyoya's expression never changed, even as he turned and walked away. Moments later, Tamaki sunk to his knees.


	2. Chapter 2 - By Your Side

Tamaki's cry was the only thing that Haruhi could hear. As soon as she heard the noise, she knew that it would always echo through her mind. The last time she heard a sound like that was from her father when her mother passed. It was the single cry let out when someone you love dearly has left your life. It was the cry of pure heartache and longing, and it had just come out of him when Kyoya walked away. But now, here she was, unable to move while she tried to figure out what she should do next.

She was confused as she watched, wondering what exactly was said to cause Tamaki to respond the way he did. He was an emotional person by nature, but she had never seen him respond quite like this. It was far worse than when he was almost forced to go back to France with Lady Éclair. At that time, he just became sullen and almost dead inside,with no emotion whatsoever. His pain this time was so much worse.

Slowly she approached him, wondering what had happened, and what she could do to comfort him. He was still on his knees, hunched over as though he didn't have the strength to even lift his body any higher than he was. As she drew closer, she could hear him speaking to the air, very softly and weakly saying, "please," but not looking up. There were patches of damp ground under his head from tears, new areas appearing before he very eyes.

Very cautiously she placed her hand onto his shoulder and rubbed slowly. His sobs were causing his entire body to shake violently. All she wanted to do was be able to help calm him, but she had no idea where to start. Above all, he didn't even seem to register that she was there. He was still staring down, breath coming in ragged, forced bursts as if they were causing him pain. Tears were still flowing from his eyes.

"Tamaki, what happened?" she asked, kneeling next to him to be even closer.

His head turned as he looked around. She wrapped her arm around him to be able to hold him closer. One hand rubbed his arm while the other gently caressed his hair. He was crying, though now it was silent, dripping slowly down his cheek as his eyes finally locked onto hers. It was clear that he wasn't really seeing her next to him, but rather knew that someone was there.

"Tamaki?" she asked, hoping that he was able to hear her. Her worry for him was beginning to cause a slight panic tone in her voice that she hoped he wasn't noticing. "Are you okay?"

He seemed more aware of her this time, and of himself. His eyes were sliding into focus as she watched, which made her more worried. There was even more pain in his eyes now that he was coming back to her. Whatever had happened was beginning to truly process in his mind. She wanted to make it stop for him,but didn't know where to begin.

"Please talk to me," she begged, unable to hide the panic she felt anymore. She didn't care; she needed to know that he was okay.

"He..." Tamaki tried, but his feeble voice broke off before he could even get started. The hurt in his voice was tangible, like a force standing between them so that her comfort was wasted. Despite this, she rubbed his hand softly, just so that she could still be touching him. He looked at her then, and she could see he was being tormented by some force that no once could control. She wiped a tear from his eye that was slowly making its way down his face.

His voice strained as he said, "Kyoya is leaving."

Haruhi's heart stopped."The country? That's okay Tamaki, we can go visit him. That's no reason to be upset." She knew what he had meant by that, but didn't want to believe it herself. That was Tamaki's best friend, and she couldn't think of a reason why he would be trying to get out of his life so suddenly. He meant just as much to Kyoya as Kyoya meant to him. _What could possibly be going through his head to make him say those things?_

"No, he's leaving me. He wants nothing to do with me. I'm too much for him to be friends with."

 _Lie to him if you have to. Don t let him know that this could really be the end of their friendship. Comfort him._ "Oh Tamaki, he probably is just stressed. His family is most likely pushing him to be more like his brothers again. You know how they are, always trying to make him conform to their ideals. Just give him some space, and let him think for a bit." She only hoped that her words would be enough to calm him. It was her way to give him hope.

He got quiet, lost in his own head again. She didn't want to tell him that this hurt her too. While she was not as close to Kyoya as Tamaki was, it still hurt to see him leaving like this. It could only be assumed that if he was leaving one, he would be leaving the other. At least Tamaki got a goodbye of sorts. She just got to watch him walk away from a distance, never getting to say goodbye.

 _Coward,_ she thought, hoping that she hadn't actually spoke it out loud. He was a selfish asshole for not even saying goodbye to her. Did he decide to disown everyone else as well? She doubted it. Or was is her fault that she was leaving? Maybe he really didn't like the fact that Tamaki had been spending his time with her. Had she come too far between them that she ruined the closest friendship that Tamaki had ever had?

She really hoped not, but she wouldn't get the answer now. If Kyoya wanted to cut them out of his life, then she would do the same back. An anger was beginning to grow in her. It was white hot, and she would never forget it. No one could hurt Tamaki this way and not be hated by her.

There was a part of her that was blaming herself though. She should have been able to see through Kyoya and known that he was going to hurt Tamaki. It was her fault that she hadn't been able to prevent this. Normally she was better at reading people, but Kyoya had managed to fool her, even earlier that day. She had seen that something was off and didn't do anything about it. Maybe if she had, she could have...

 _No,_ she thought, _you cant blame yourself for this. There is nothing you could have done to prevent his. Kyoya had his mind made up long before you saw him this morning. Nothing you did or didn't do could not have influenced it._

After a long moment that seemed like forever Tamaki said, "You're right, my love. There must be more to this than I am seeing. He must have a good reason to say these things. I'm sure he will be talking to me in a few days and explain then what is going on."

He stood on shaking legs and took her hand, she only wished that Tamaki could believe the words that he had just said, or better yet, that she could believe them herself.


	3. Chapter 3 - Sound Mind Soundly Asleep

_Shit, that hurt,_ Haruhi thought, waking for the third time this week from being kicked by Tamaki in his sleep. He had not had a restful night of sleep since his last day of school, meaning that she had not had a restful night sleep in just as long. Well, she hadn't gotten a decent night sleep since she had been spending the nights with him. Each night he would toss and turn, thrashing about and shaking slightly when he wasn't moving. She didn't know what he was dreaming about, but she knew it was terrifying him. In the morning she would ask, but he always said that it was nothing, just a nightmare.

Of course, she could have gotten a good night sleep if she wanted. All she would have to do is go home to her own bed, but she couldn't leave him alone. He needed the comfort of her next to him, even if he didn't know that just her touch had a way of calming him down. She didn't feel like it was doing much for him, but it was all she had to give him for help. He was too stubborn to take any other help she had to offer.

The last few months had been hard on him; going from his best friend by his side to a loneliness that she couldn't fill. She recognized the signs of depression that he was experiencing, knowing that this was not the first time he had been through it. If it meant he would help save someone from pain, he would walk away from nearly anyone and be stoic about it. But this, this was out of his control, and he liked to be in control.

First he withdrew from everyone he held dear. He hadn't talked to anyone from the Host Club since he left school, thought they had tried. Kaoru and Hikaru had reached out, wondering if he wanted to go to Bali with them, and Honey had offered to take him to some of the competitions he would be competing in, but he blatantly ignored them. Haruhi was pretty sure he would have cut her out as well if she hadn't forced herself there. She understood his reasoning though; they were a reminder of what he had lost.

Then he began to spend most of his side inside, cloistered to his home. She had to drag him out for walks while he reluctantly dug his heals into the dirt. The sun could do wonderful things to brighten ones mood, and she hoped that it could help him feel better; it didn't. He just walked next to her, going through the motions of living without actually feeling the light on his skin. All she wanted to do was yell at him, make him understand that while it hurt, he couldn't give up on his own life. Even if Kyoya hated him and left, he wouldn't have wanted Tamaki to give up on his own dreams and to be a shell of a person.

Their friends had reached out to her too. They were all worried about Tamaki, and they didn't know what had happened to cause him to change so suddenly. It concerned them to see him act so out of character. She would get messages asking about him and his well being. Honey and Mori mentioned that they had tried to talk to Kyoya and see if he knew what was going on, but he said that he didn't know what happened either and quickly changed the subject.

She felt Tamaki wake with a start, breathing heavily. He laid there for a moment next to her and she tried to not let him know that she was awake. It always made him feel terrible when he woke her up too, but that didn't matter to her. If he asked, she would have spent hours up talking to him, at least she would have a month ago. Now, with the deep depression he was falling into, she was becoming sick of his sulking.

He sat up on the edge of the bed for a moment before walking down the hall. She was running out of ways to help him. You couldn't help someone that didn't want to be helped, and it was becoming clearer and clearer that he didn't want help. She knew that she wouldn't ever leave him; she loved him too much for that, but she was soon going to stop trying to help.

Haruhi got out of bed not long after Tamaki did and began to pull the bedding off. It was so torn apart that she decided to just remake it with new sheets. The sweat that soaked his side had penetrated all the way down to the mattress. She would have his housekeepers take it out to be cleaned and replace it before it could mildew. It was feeling more and more like she was one of his caretakers than his significant others.

"Stupid Kyoya," she muttered to herself as she laid a fresh blanket down. This was his fault. If he hadn't hurt Tamaki like this, then everything would be fine. Instead, she had half a man that would hold her halfheartedly.

She finished remaking the bed and decided to check on Tamaki. It really did bother her to leave him alone with his thoughts for too long. She had no idea where he would have gone tonight. He always chose a different area to clear his mind in. Most nights she would find him and just watch as he mourned his friend, making sure that he was okay. It almost had become a game she would play, one that she was tired of.

On this night, he was in a bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. She could see his reflection, pale in the low light. It was hard to make out exactly what was going through his mind other than pain, and it frustrated her. She just wanted him to open up so that she could have more of an idea of what was going through his head. He didn't mean to, but she felt like he was keeping secrets from her, and it finally was angering her.

"Dammit!" he yelled, taking her aback slightly at his outburst of anger. She could see tears in his eyes once more. "Why can't you just get over this?"

"Because he hurt you by leaving," she said quietly to him from the door, "and you don't know the real reason why."

She clearly surprised him with the speed at which he turned. There was a mixture of anger and frustration in his eyes, and she wasn't sure who it was aimed at.

"What do you mean?" he replied, rather aggressively.

She took a deep breath, trying to figure out the right way to explain it. "Well, you loved him, that much is clear to everyone that has ever met the both of you. Losing him was just like losing a chunk of you. The relationship you had with each other was complicated. Then you lost him, like you lost your mother."

"I didn't lose her! I had to leave her. It was the only way that I could save her. And there wasn't much of a choice. You know my Grandmother made it an ultimatum, and I would rather have walked away knowing she would be okay than to stay and lose her anyways."

"And you put her ahead of your feelings, but for a reason. Losing her hurt so badly. You don't really know why Kyoya walked away from you. You keep assuming it was you, that you weren't good enough, or that he used you and got what he needed, but there was probably more to it. Remember when I told you it could be his family? Maybe he walked away to protect you. Maybe he cares about saving you from something he was going through."

"I doubt it. I was just a means to an end for him."

That was it. She no longer had it in her to be kind and patient with him. He was having a pity party, and reasoning with him was not working. Apparently, she would need to take a different approach to handling him.

"Tamaki, quit your shit," she said firmly, anger in her words. He would listen to her this time, and she hoped that he would actually understand this time. "At this point, what does it matter what his reasoning was? Worrying isn't going to bring either one back to your life. You were strong enough to walk away from your mother, and while it hurt you, you still did it. You can make it through this, even if it wasn't your choice. You are strong, and can make it through anything."

He stared at her for a moment, clearly in shock at the was she had spoken to him. She was tired, and wanted him to return to the happy man that she planned to spend her life with. This shell was not who he was, and this was her last effort to bring him back.

Her words must have gotten through this time. His eyes locked on hers and he nodded slightly. She took this as her cue to leave. She turned and walked towards the hallway, but not before looking over her shoulder and saying, "It's okay to hurt, but just don't let it take over your life."

She walked back to the room they had been spending their nights in. Tamaki would come back to bed eventually; he always did. Tonight, she would fall back asleep, with or without him next to her, knowing that this time she might have gotten through to him. She smiled, hoping that tomorrow would give be a better day, with her lover on his way back to being himself.


	4. Chapter 4 - The Past Is Present

15 years later...

Haruhi sat in the car, staring out the window while thinking about her son. It had been so long since they had visited the Ouran Academy, yet she wondered if it had been long enough for Tamaki so have recovered. It was a slow process, yet he had put his past behind him finally and heal properly. She had been so relieved when the demons in his eyes began to fade away and his light fight its way back into his life.

Now she was sending her son off to the same school that had been such a pivotal part of their lives. If it hadn't been for Ouran, she probably would never had made a name for herself. She was able to use the education she received to be noticed enough to go to university on a scholarship as well, even though the Suoh family had offered to pay for the entire thing. But no, she could not ask them to contribute any more to her tuition.

Tamaki was quiet in the seat next to her. She knew that it was hard for him to let René go, but he would be okay. He was extremely protective of his little boy, knowing that some day he would lead the family, or at least that's what he used as an excuse. It was his goal to be a better father to his son than his father had been to him. His father hadn't been a terrible man, though he did not always fight for his sons well being against his mother, but she understood that. There is a lot of different ways for a parent to love their child, and Yuzuru loved his son the best he knew how. Tamaki strived to be even better.

"He's okay Tamaki," Haruhi said, breaking the slight silence between them. She was trying to convince herself as well as him. "René has your ability to make everyone smile and get his way. He will have the school under his spell in no time."

She was trying to convince herself of this as well. René had a reserved side to him, making him less outgoing than his father and a little more like her. He was smart though, always calculating his next move. Watching him at times was like watching a chess game; not thinking about the next move, but three moves ahead. It reminded her of Kyoya in that way. There was a strong, silence to him that would one day make him a deadly manipulator.

The car slide smoothly into the driveway, making no noise at all as it approached the front doors. Some days it disgusted her how large and wasteful the space was, preferring a small country home with just enough rooms as they needed. It was times like this that she would remind herself that for Tamaki, this was a reserved, modest home. She was just glad that it wasn't like the guest house that she had spent so much time in with her love.

Tamaki held the door for Haruhi to enter into their home. She sighed, which made him smile gently. It made him feel so good to think he was getting his way, but she would never admit that she did enjoy making him feel like he was annoying her. Secretly, she enjoyed him doing small things like this for her. Every time he did something like holding the door, she could feel how much he still loved taking care of her. He would always try to he her hero, and she would always love him passionately for it.

They had the entire day to themselves now, and she thought that maybe her and Tamaki could comfort each other in their empty home, which hadn't been completely empty like this in years. Clearly, he had other plans for the moment. He took a stack of letters into his study and shut the door. It was a habit of his to go through his mail in the comfort of his sanctuary, while she was free to go through hers at will.

 _Oh Tamaki, your habits are so hard to break._

She wondered through the empty house, contemplating what she would do with her free time. It had been a while since she had been able to go shopping, and she loved the clothes the twins tended to pick out for René. The downside to this would be having to put up with the clothing they tried to pick out for her. Every time she went to have their help, they would still try to dress her up in cosplay outfits. They thought it was funny, Tamaki thought she looked wonderful, René would laugh and she would silently glare at them thinking about how she didn't like it fifteen years ago, and she liked it even less now.

Or perhaps she could go and see her father, who shouldn't have been working today. They could go out to lunch and catch up with one another. It had been a long while since they had been out without any distraction. There would be no questions of a silly nature. No asking why people would stare when they went out, or who planted all the trees. He was so inquisitive of the world around him, finding wonder in everything.

After making a full loop of all the rooms, she went back to the study. Tamaki would have had enough time to go through all of the mail at this point, and she wanted to see if maybe he wanted to go out with her. He always loved picking out new toys for their son, and sometimes for himself. That, and without her son home she was terribly lonely and needed someone to distract her.

She opened the study door slowly, not wanting to disturb her husband while he was going through his mail. He was completely absorbed in the paper that was in his hands, silently crying onto it. There was a look of longing and pain that she had not seen in his eyes for years. The pain was something he had put behind him, yet here it was, taking the joy back out of his eyes.

"Tamaki, what's wrong? Who was the letter from?" she asked, knowing damn well the answers to both of those questions.

 _Son of a bitch. Kyoya, couldn't you just have left the poor guy alone?_

"Nothing's wrong. And the letter, it's just junk mail cleverly disguised as a hand written letter."

He tossed the letter into the fire, smiling as it caught fire. Kissing her, he escorted her from the room. There was an odd emotion in his eyes as he glanced back into the room. It was a sad sort of happiness. There was no empty emotion to him, just a calm that there was no way to describe. Whatever it was, she felt comforted by it.

A few weekends later, she was again in the house alone. Tamaki and René were out getting groceries together. It had become a routine of them both going to the "commoner" market. He claimed it was to keep René down to earth and not act like he was better than anyone, but in reality, he just enjoyed going out and being able to do things with his son, even if it was something as little as shopping. She also knew that they always got candy and ice cream before they came home which was something she would never have allow.

It made her smile knowing that her boys were out together, bonding in a way that only boys could do together. She would take him out tomorrow so that he could get a hair cut and have his bonding time with his mother, but it was a special bond that the boys had. Tamaki went out of his way to make sure that their son stayed humble while showering him in love. He was a wonderful, loving man that enjoyed showing his affection to those who deserved it.

She walked at a leisurely pace, making her way outside to tend their flowers. It was a family event when everyone was home together. Tamaki enjoyed how the flowers would grow and how his hands could create such beauty; René liked the dirt. They would all laugh together, the sun light casting shadows on each of them, intertwining to pull the family even closer together. It was one of her happiest place to be.

Her gloved hands had soil on them when the mail arrived, leaving slight smudges on the envelopes. She smiled, pulling the gloves off and making her way inside. The intention was to leave all the mail on Tamaki's desk and let him deal with it when he gets home. Normally she would tell him that it was his job as man of the house to deal with the letters. In reality, it was a really good way for her to be lazy without him realizing what she was doing. These plans changed as she glanced down at the first letter in her hands.

Her name was neatly written on it, with no return address given. The paper was an off white, very high quality. She half expected to open it and find an invitation to a royal gala, or a piece of trash mail to be used as tinder in the fire, but no such luck was in store for her. Instead, she skimmed the letter to see if there was a sender's name attached, finding it exceptionally quick at the bottom of the short letter.

She sighed, thinking she should have expected something like this to happen. _What the hell do you need from me, Kyoya._


	5. Chapter 5 - Hollow Words

Haruhi stood still, the letter gripped and wrinkling between her hands. She was half tempted to just crush it and be rid of it. The other half of her was curious to see what he had to harass her about. Tamaki hadn't made mention of his own letter from Kyoya that he had received, and she didn't want to bring it up if he didn't want to discuss it. If it was less painful for him to store it away, then that is what she would let him do. He was handling it well on his own and she didn't want to ruin that. However, Kyoya must not have gotten the reaction he wanted from Tamaki, so now he felt the need to write to her.

"Ugh!" she shouted out loud, glad that there was no one home for her to have to explain her frustration to.

Her fingers dug into the paper as she contemplated what to do. Finding a resolve in her, she reluctantly looked down to take in the words written before her.

 _Haruhi, I'm not sure if you g_ _ot the chance to read the letter I wrote to Tamaki, or even if he got it. He didn't respond to me, and I just want him to understand how sorry I am if I hurt him. Can you please just call me, or maybe we can go to lunch? It would be so much easier to just talk in person. Please._

 _~Kyoya_

It wasn't much of a letter at all. He was only asking for her help because it would benefit him to get it. _And what will I get form this?_ She thought. There was no apology to her, just his need for her to help. She hated him a little more for this. Yet, he had reached out to her for help. She knew that it wasn't because she could fix everything. No, he was asking because he knew she would end up at least listening to him.

Damn him for still understanding her and managing to be right about her. With a sigh, she picked up her phone and dialed the number on the paper. The phone clicked as someone on the other end picked up...

It was raining on the afternoon that she had chosen to go out to lunch "alone". Tamaki was working hard, advising a few investors on the best way to not waste their money. He kissed her before he left, and told her that if she didn't want to eat alone, he was only a call away. She couldn't tell him that her plans were partly exaggerated. After all, it technically wasn't untrue to think of Kyoya as no one anymore. _And he'd better not be late._

She had told him to be there at 12:45, and not a minute later. It was just about that time now, and he was no where in sight. _I look foolish standing here alone, huddled under the small under hang, in the pouring rain._ Anger was beginning to boil over in her. In the past, she would have been willing to wait, patient as death. But now, things had changed so much. If he wasn't there in a few more minutes she was just going to leave.

Her phone vibrated, angering her further. She knew it was Kyoya, probably telling her that he running late because the driver would have to get as close to the restaurant as he could so that he wouldn't get wet. Or even better for her, that he wasn't coming. He probably chickened out, or just never planned to actually come. Whatever it was, she was going to tell him off for it.

 _It's raining out there. Why don't you come inside and sit with me where its warm and dry?_

She turned, looking around to see his smug face through the window. Glowering, she walked through the door to the table he was seated at. It didn't ease her rage to know that he had actually gotten there early. Instead of letting him know what she was thinking, she decided to shake her coat off on him as he stood to greet her, covering him in droplets of water. _Now we both can be wet, jerk._ Satisfied, she took the seat across from him.

Minutes passed without a single word being said between them. The waitress brought over drinks for them, then hurried away, clearly uncomfortable by the tension that was mounting between them. She didn't care though. She was angry that Kyoya had hurt her, and more angry that he had the gall to want to talk to her about what he had done to her beloved Tamaki.

"Hey Haruhi," he began, informal and friendly, as though it had only been a week since they had last spoken, "how are you?"

She didn't respond, she just looked at him silently.

"Umm, your son is really handsome. How old is he now?"

Still, she remained quiet.

"Haruhi, can you say something, please?"

"Quit the small talk. I don't care how you are. The only reason I came was to see what you wanted from me and to have the pleasure of saying no to it in person."

"Please don't say that. You haven't even heard what I have to say. Don't say you're going to say no until you know at least know why I asked you to come."

A look of sorrow was on his face. She looked at him, really looked at him since the first time she had gotten there. There were frown lines engraved into his skin and a streak of grey hair that made him look far older than he was. His eyes looked tired, as though life had been far harder on him than he could have ever expected. She could see his loneliness in the way he was caring himself. She had to turn away, knowing that her resolved anger would melt away if she remained looking at him for too long.

"Fine, I'll humor you for a bit. Tell me what you think I should know"

Taking a deep breath, Kyoya began to recite his story. He took her through the events of the last few days of school. He explained why he had to walk away from Tamaki the way he did. She was fairly certain that he had left some of those details out, but it wasn't in her nature to push people to talk if they didn't want to. It was not hard to read between the lines to understand there was a deeper meaning to his word.

He told her about the months to follow, about what he did and what he had been going through his head. He spoke of his family issues and the struggles he went through. His voice would break and he would trail off, looking into the distance like the memories were playing on a screen. She couldn't help but wonder what else was going through his head. There was more he wasn't saying, things that he was keeping in his heart for only him to know.

"Haruhi, I am sorry for everything that has happened. I know that it all had its effects on you, but I knew that you were going to be there for him no matter what happened. Just understand, I really didn't think..."

"Obviously you didn't think," she snapped at him, cutting his words off. Despite his story, she was still livid. "Everything you do is about you, and it always has been. Do you know how hard it was to try and tell Tamika that it was all okay and that there must be other reasons, while being pissed? Years, it took years for him to start to move on about losing you."

"Please, Haruhi..."

"No! You got your chance to speak, now I get mine. You didn't just walk away from Tamaki, you walked away from me too. We were all suppose to be friends, yet you cut us out. I understand that things happened in life, and that it was hard on you, but maybe it would have been easier if, I don't know, YOU HAD YOUR DAMN FRIENDS BY YOUR SIDE!"

She was screaming at him, patrons of the restaurant around them staring. It didn't matter to her. Let them all stare, and let them all know what had happened. They could all see him for the selfish ass that he was.

"You're right," Kyoya said timidly, "you really are. It's just, I don't know I guess I got scared of, things."

"'Scared of things', huh? We are ALL scared of things, but we have to deal with them. What you did was run like a coward."

"I know, and I really am sorry."

"What do you want, Kyoya? I know you didn't call me here to just apologize and give me your sob story. Get to the point already so I can say no."

"Can you get Tamaki to talk to me?' he said bluntly. "I need to apologize to him in person. Can you help me with that?"

"You're kidding, right? After what you did? No, my answer is no."

She stood, turning her back as she walked away from the table. Here he was, asking her to put him back into Tamaki's life. He broke Tamaki completely and she wouldn't have any part of letting him back into his life to do it again. Who did he think he was? Kyoya was scum for even asking her to help him.

The rain was still falling hard as Haruhi stepped outside. People were walking the streets with umbrellas out, quickly making their way towards their destinations. _An umbrella would have been a good idea,_ she thought, looking for the best place to head next. Her car was parked a bit away, and she didn't really want to get soaked while she walked, but she had to get away from the restaurant and Kyoya.

She ducked her head and made a run to a shop on the other side of the street. The water pelted her skin, and she could have sworn she saw steam as the cool rain hit her body, still burning hot with the rage she was feeling. It was calming at least to have the droplets on her skin. The sound it was creating at it hit awnings and the road where singing to her like a sweet melody.

"Haruhi," Kyoya's voice came from behind her, "can you please stop?"

She turned, seeing him hurrying towards her. After everything else, she had had enough. "I thought you of all people would recognize what it meant to see someone walk away. It's something you've seen, or at least done, before."

"There has to be something, I can do to at least make you consider helping me. Anything. Just name it"

"You can try burning in hell. Let's start there."

"Come on. Please?"

And there it was, the desperation and pleading in his voice and stance that began to melt the iron resolve that she had been trying to keep in place. She willingly to let her guard down and see, for the first time since they began talking, how much pain he was in. There was something different about it. It wasn't quite what Tamaki had gone through, but it rivaled it. Tamaki was able to move past years ago with her help. Kyoya held that pain still in his body, weighing him down, needing someone. All he wanted was the chance to be free of the shame and guilt he had for what he had done. _It's not a bad thing if I help him, is it?_

"Lets say I was willing to help, what could I do? Honestly, do you expect me to magically make him willing to talk to you?"

Hope light in his eyes, making him look younger. A small smile reached his lips before he said, "I was thinking that we don't let him know that meeting me is the plan. It could just be a chance that we run into each other somewhere. Maybe you go for a walk, and I could maybe see you in passing? I'm sure there's something."

"No, that would never pass, but I think that I have something that would. He's going to be so mad at me though..."


	6. Chapter 6 - The Past Haunts All

Almost all of the original Host Club sat around a large round table outside of a small restaurant. The boys were all laughing, and Haruhi would throw a laugh in whenever she heard the others laughing, but she wasn't truly listening. She was glad that they were all together, because it had honestly been far too long since their last gathering, but she couldn't focus on the conversations at hand. Her mind was a thousand miles away, thinking about what she was about to do.

She had orchestrated the entire vacation in Karuizawa, making sure that all of their friends were at their families cottages at the same time. It had been her job to make sure that René had a safe place to be with his grandfather because she didn't want him to see what was going to happen. Tamaki was going to end up being extremely angry, she just hoped that things would work out for the best, and that he could find it in his heart to forgive her.

Right now, Tamaki was ecstatic to be back with all of his friends at once. He was acting like he was sixteen again. His laughter was carefree and lighthearted. The only other times she had heard him so happy was when he was playing with their son. He was truly and utterly over what had happened all those years ago, and here she was about to reintroduce the pain he had felt. _Maybe he shouldn't forgive me for what I'm going to do._

"Well what about you, Kaoru? Are you and Hikaru still doing the twin shtick?" Honey had said, snapping her back to the conversations that they were having.

She decided that she had to say at least something soon or else everyone would think that something was wrong, which honestly was the truth. "Yeah," she said, "they are. And they're still doing it on me."

It always made everyone laugh when she was able to pick on the twins. She playfully glared in the direction of the twins, who had since left their seats. _Shit, I just brought this onto myself. I deserve what they're about to do to me._

They were on either side of her quickly. This was one of their favorite things to do and always had been. Whenever it came to being around her, the preferred to pin her in so she couldn't move. It was like they were making her into a sandwich, with her being the meat that everyone seemed to still want a taste of.

"Well you know Haruhi," Hikaru started., placing his hand on her cheek with a devilishly smile across his face.

"You could always come home with us," Kaoru finished, mirroring the same smile and hand gesture.

She sighed, "I've said this a thousand time before, and I'm going to try and make it clear, again. Not. A. Chance. In. Hell."

There was laughter again, and she allowed herself to slip into her own mind for a moment. He was so happy right now, should she do this? She had made a promise to Kyoya that she would at least get them to talk to each other, but at what cost? It would be her fault that Tamaki would be in pain. No one would fault her if she went back on a promise, especially one like this. She could just pretend like they had never talked and leave him standing somewhere alone, but she could never bring herself to do something as low as that.

"...speaking about the heroes of her youth. Something about the gentlemen that only want to make woman feel special and wanted," she heard Honey saying. The conversation must have turned to Renge. She knew that their old manager had been off traveling telling their story to guests all over the country, and it was soon going to be a world tour. Through her, their legacy would live on, though it would be her interpretation of all of the Host Club's adventures, which would of course be somehow more over the top and ridiculous than the actual events had been.

Mori was looking at Honey. "Wonder where she got the idea from."

Haruhi snorted, bemused by the whole idea of it, "Guess that rotating stage she always managed to have is doing her a lot of good now."

Everyone chuckled a little, but she allowed herself to sink back into her mind to overthink everything that she had done in the last few weeks. Kyoya had been growing happier and more hopeful with every conversation that they had, but part of her felt like he didn't deserve any happiness. No matter what, it would always be his fault that they had gotten into this predicament. He still had not told her the whole story, but the longing in her eyes told her all she needed to. _And yet, I am going to help him try and back into my lover's life. I can only hope that our love is strong enough to withstand this._

She anxiously sat in her chair while the boys discussed all of there memories that they had together. Time was slowing down for her, with minutes lasting for hours. No one seemed to notice that she was growing impatient, which was fine by her. It would make it easier for when Kyoya finally contacted her. He was going to be waiting somewhere in town for them. It was why Karuizawa was the perfect location for them to be. He had been spending a lot of his time at his family's cottage anyways, and it was a great getaway for everyone else. That, and there would be a lot of witnesses if Tamaki lost his temper, though that was something that he rarely did.

Her phone vibrated, showing the text from Kyoya that she had been waiting for. _So what's the plan?_ it read. She quietly excused herself to be able to call him, but she didn't say that part out loud. Tamaki watched her walk away, concern flashing in his eyes before he turned back to his friends at the table

Another text came through moments later as she was walking to a secluded area to call him. _Haruhi! What's going on? Please answer me._

She dialed his number and held the phone to her ear. It clicked, and before Kyoya could even said hello, she said, "Dammit! Just calm down. I needed a minute to be able to get away from the table. I couldn't just call you from next to Tamaki, could I? No, because that would have been rude."

"I'm sorry, it's just that I'm worried about what is going to happen. Do you think that he will be angry with me?"

"I could care less if he's mad at you, honestly. Frankly, if he doesn't talk to you again I would stand behind it. You hurt him."

"I know, I know. You've brought it up every single time that I have spoken to you."

"Well, I just like to make sure you it is completely and utterly clear to you. My husband will always come first to me."

"That's where he should have come with me too," he said softly, almost low enough that she couldn't hear him, which was probably his point.

"Where are you? This way I can bring Tamaki to you and you can have your little conversation."

"There's a little park a few blocks away from the restaurant that you're at. I'm kind of hiding in the shadows, chickening out."

"Don t you even dare! I put a lot of work into this and I will hunt you down if you run."

"I won't, I promise,"

"Yeah, cause your promises mean sooo much anymore," she said before hanging up.

Mustering all the courage she could, she walked back to the table where all of her friends where sitting and laughing. It was now or never. _Never sounds really, really good._

She walked up behind Tamaki and leaned down close to him. "Can you come with me?" she said softly into his ear.

He tensed, nervously standing. She had no idea what was going through his mind, or what he thought she needed him for. Whatever it was, she was probably leading him to something worse. She gripped his hand tightly, trying to steady her shaky breath. _Inhale with one step, exhale with the other. Inhale with one step, exhale with the other,_ she repeated over and over. It wasn't putting her at ease though.

They rounded a building together, and there Kyoya was, leaning casually against a tree. He looked indifferent as though he wasn't panicking at all. The pose showed confidence and arrogance. _He's a great actor._

This was the moment of truth for them. She stopped a good distance away, not wanting to hear anything that was said between them. "He wants to talk to you alone," she stated quietly, then cringing at the words. Fifteen years, and here she was using the same words that were said then.

"He's who the message was from, isn't he?" he said, his voice hollow and face devoid of emotion.

She nodded slowly, unable to look her husband in his eyes. Shame was flowing through her veins as his footsteps began to fade. Every moment that passed was absolutely painful. It was her turn to want to run away, but her feet were cemented to the ground. _This is going to end badly, so very, very badly._

Her eyes glanced up to see the two men under the tree, Tamaki's voice raised enough that she could tell he was screaming. His exact words where not clear, but he was clearly angry. Kyoya was a little pale, his lips hardly moving with no chance for him to speak. _So badly._

She could only imagine how this conversation was going. Kyoya would say, " _But, Tamaki, I'm really sorry. You need to know how sorry I am and what an asshat I have been. Please forgive me!"_ and Tamaki would reply, _"Sorry doesn't mean a thing. What should make me forgive you?"_ They would look at each other a long while, debating their feelings, and one of them would eventually give up, and it would probably be Tamaki because he didn't know when to cut a selfish jerk off.

Tamaki's voice could no longer be heard traveling over the air to her ears. Maybe that was a good sign. If it was her, she wouldn't forgive him. It wasn't worth the pain to be relived, even if it meant she could get her emotions out. For her, it would be like having a cut almost be healed and then ripping the scab off, just to make it bleed and scar worse than it would have before. _And I did this to him._

They had been talking for a while now, or maybe it was only a minute. Time wasn't flowing the way it should be. Hours were minutes and seconds were days. She didn't want to be standing here any longer. All she wanted was to be with her son and husband, playing somewhere together and smiling. This could have been a happy day with the members of the Host Club that had stuck around. Everyone would be spoiling their son, and all would be well.

Nope, she was just standing across the street from two former friends who had not spoken to each other formally in over fifteen years. _This might be the actual definition of hell. There was no fire and brimstone, just awkwardness and discomfort. Yay._

She didn't like that she had no idea of what was going on. They could be making amends, or getting ready to have a fistfight. If she was over there, she could at least be helping to keep Tamaki calm and not hurting. Or maybe she could be helping him beat Kyoya to a pulp, both seemed like a good option.

This anger she was newer. She hadn't really been angry at Kyoya before he reached out to her. Most of her time had been spent consoling her lover, and now he would potentially do it again. That was probably where the anger was coming from. Even though he had walked away from both of them, it hadn't really effected her, but she had to live with a mobbing shadow of a human. She never wanted to have him like that again.

 _If it happens, this time it's as much your fault as Kyoya's._ Her brain was not leaving her alone. She only could hope at this point that Tamaki would remember that she was the one next to him through it all. Despite his depression and pain, she was the one that had stayed.

Tamaki began to walk back across the street towards her, his face unreadable. Kyoya still stood under the tree, looking torn and not moving. Her breathing became to come rapidly, bordering on hyperventilation. This would be it. He was going to go straight past her, pretending that she wasn't there. She would have to spend days finding ways to make him forgive her as well.

He did walk past her, but he grabbed her hand while he did so to have her come with him. She was so thankful that he didn't appear to be mad at her. With her breathing coming back to a normal pace, she was able to match his strides as they walked away. One last glance backwards at Kyoya still showed him at the edge of the park, rocking back and forth on his heals. They hit the corner of the building and turned, not giving her the chance to see if he was moving.

* * *

Thank you for sticking with the story. Haruhi's part may not be the most important in these events, but I felt it was important for her feelings to be expressed. Stay tuned for the third PoV.


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